Welcome

Hi. Welcome to my mind, and if you're lucky, you can even explore a small piece of my heart.
This is my world, where dreams will forever remain dreams.
It is the place where wishes get slaughtered miserably.
Oh, don't walk over there. That place is strictly forbidden you see.
*whispers*  It's where desires burn over and over. If you have good hearing, you can hear the screamssss.

Now if you come over here I'll show you the deadliest part. This is like the connecting piece of a puzzle;
only it connects my heart and my mind together.
And when it does, oh you do not want to see that! A tsunami comes, in the form of an attempt to cleanse my thoughts. Sometimes successful, most of the times not.
Maybe if you look closely in my eyes one day, you'll see the tsunami in a different form.

So as I was saying, this place is called 'What If's'. Here is where my mind comes up with a few dozen of thoughts that may not even happen, but forces its opinion on my heart; making the poor red, blood pumping thing deceive me completely by losing control over everything.
What If's is controlled by anxiety so you wouldn't want go to deep inside.

Uhh I think I covered all places right? Or am I missing something? Oh, where are the happy sections you ask?
Well I must clear that, this place is my own and personal hell, created to purify any happy thoughts and transform them into something sad and depressing and dark. Heavenly thoughts, happiness is a great feeling thoughts, are gravely restricted!

I hope you enjoyed the tour. I hope you heard the screams and cries (both loud and muffled) of everything that could prove to be even the smallest possibility of ever being happy. My mind is a very dark place people.  A very unhappy place. If you're mind is full of happy thoughts and roses, you should be thankful. If a tsunami of tears never approaches your eyes, be grateful.
And for those with their own personal hell's like mine, there's no escape..
©silencereveals

Negative Into Positive

I like walking on the sand bare feet. The softness of wet sand tingles between my toes, making me squirm a little with delight; its kind of like an octupus. The sound of the waves in the water is such a contentious feeling. Seagulls in the air, roaming around; so happy, so free. The fresh smell of the seaside makes me feel so happy and peaceful.

"Penny for your thoughts", she said, pulling me out of my deep thoughts.

I looked up to my best friend to see her looking at me with amusement and something else I couldn't put my finger on. When we're together, we don't talk much. She knows I prefer comfortable silence, lost in my thoughts than to talk. Rather selfish you'd say? I don't think so. It's called understanding. She does most of the talking as I listen to her talk. The way her facial expression changes per sentence. The way she confidently, boldy expresses the topic at hand. If only I had that confidence. Confidence in myself, in my thoughts, in my voice. Confidence to put everything behind me and take a strong step forward...

And there I go again! Lost in my thoughts.

She was still looking at me expectedly, with little hope, as if knowing I won't respond. I felt bad.

"I was thinking about acceptance and happiness. Coming here makes me feel happy. Peaceful. But its short lived. After this, I'll go home to my room and this peace and comfort will be just a memory".

She continued to stare at me a little, before looking straight ahead to the sea in front of us, a small smile playing on her lips.

"Its true", she finally said. "It is short lived. We'll both go back to our homes and this will  be just a memory. But sometimes its good to have memories. When we aren't here, we'll look back at the time we spent here and we'd be happy with just the thought".

She's right. Maybe I shouldn't think about happiness in such a negative way. Happy moments give us good memories. Memories we can treasure as we get older. Some can be good, some could be bad. But in whatever form memories come in, find your way to express your thoughts on it. Find away to express how grateful you are for everything.

And I found my way.

My pinky found its way to hers and they linked. We smiled at each other then looked at the beautiful sunset in front of us. No words needed to be said. That gesture was enough to say it all. Sometimes you have to express your thoughts. I put my thoughts out and she shared hers, giving my negative thoughts a positive ray of sunshine. I take my best friend for granted sometimes. Little do I realise, there's no such thing as sadness when you have the biggest happiness with you.

The person who understands me beyond expectation. My best friend, my sister from another mister, a large segment of my soul...

Death Regrets

I find it interesting, when people are more respected and acknowledged after they die as opposed to living - silencereveals

I was scrolling through my instagram feed and I saw someone post a picture of themselves with their grandma with the typical caption "RIP". Then the person wrote about how their grandma was such a wonderful person, an inspiration to them. How they 'genuinely' feel sad. Then people commented with sad faces, giving their condolences.

My question is, why do people post or express sadness when someone dies? Why not do a random post or status with a picture of your loved one and say nice things while they're alive.  And I don't just mean on social media. When someone dies; someone's parents, grandparents, siblings, aunts and uncles or a friend, people feel strong remorse. Some regret, with the thought that 'if only I did this for them while they were alive'. Some people remorse with the thought that if only I realised the person's true worth before they left the world.
Understand the people around you. Show affection, talk to those you've stopped talking to. Show that you care. Do it before its too late. Because then, when its late and they've gone, you'll have nothing but regret in your heart. Your heart will feel heavy and your mind will be full of 'what ifs'.

Look at the people around you and make a difference...